sábado, 30 de março de 2013

"My cousin tried to put an end on her life. I think... It's so much fun stay on Earth haunting them than die. So many people wanted to bring me down, to make me feel like a piece of shit, and, congrats, they did it, but die was never an option. It's too much fun seing them looking at me and probably wondering how I could stay so undaunted. I don't have a clear answer but life is one of the most precious thing we've. We cannot let other people command our lives. It's our! I do my life and it isn't some bastards who'll bring me down and make me wanna die. I wanna live. It can sound malicious, but it's interesting seeing people looking at me and I can clearly understand the disappointment printed in their faces.
 They loved to call me "fat", "ugly", "nerd" and "weird teen". I cried a lot, in silence, at home, but never in front of anyone. I stayed quiet for a long, waiting the moment to reveal they couldn't control my life. I changed a lot along the way. I made crazy diets, lots of exercises... to be perfect and skinny. However, I've realized I was changing not by me but to the others and I stopped. The way I looked wouldn't do anything for me. Only words would help me and, in fact, they did. They stopped to call me awful names and my life couldn't be better.
Today is the day I'm proud of myself. I keep doing crazy exercises (not diets 'cause chocolate is a fucking bastard who loves me a lot) but for myself and because I learned to love the way I am and not caring if someone thinks I'm weird or paranoic or some ugly name. I don't give a damn what people thinks about me not even how I look like.
Due to these facts, I don't really understand the necessity of people claim attention through trying kill themselves. I believe we have a specific time to pass away and try to end with us will make people suffer, like I am in this moment. I wanna help, I wanna say I understand but I don't approve but too much people will know what I keep sacred to me for years and I don't wanna share. I wanna say no person, NO PERSON, deserves the happiness of see us unhappy. It's not too late but I don't really believe she will listen me. I understand the will but I don't understand the action. I wanna help but I know she's not like me and won't understand what I'll say because she's a teenager who thought fairy tales were part of life.
For the first time of my life I feel I can't do anything for her and it makes me sad."

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